Thank you all, each and every one of you, for making me laugh and sharing your love, I love you all immeasurably! Extra special gratitude goes to Jillian, Erik & Riley, just looking at this old photo of you three makes my whole day (which is why I posted it right here for everyone to see too)!!And yes, I am still riding on the high that my prognosis is EXCELLENT!
As you may or may not have seen before, "I Promise Myself" by Christian D. Larson is posted as a note on my Facebook profile and I share it periodically as I feel inspired to do so. I truly believe that we can create our own happiness regardless of our circumstances but I also know from painful experience that it can be very easy to get lost along the way. In knowing this, I actively seek inspiration and am drawn to those who share this mindset - whether through religion, a connection to God, a higher power, nature, or the universe, an inner peace, I could go on & on - whatever it is that drives us along this path, I believe we grow by sharing with each other, by nurturing positive influences and diluting the negative so they become powerless to affect our happiness! To me, it appears that all negativity stems from anger or fear. It has been said that the experience of anger and fear is simply the absence of love, and since love is the ultimate connection that we all share, it is never really absent but sometimes we can perceive this to be so and that is when it is particularly difficult to nurture the positive. "I Promise Myself" is one of my favorite tools to nurture the positive and stave off the negative influences should they show up at my door...
I Promise Myself...
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the successes of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry; too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
So with this spirit in mind, here is the latest...
I feel pretty darned good! The allergic reaction I had from the microgestin that Dr. Moore prescribed before I was diagnosed is almost completely gone now and my 5 incisions from surgery are looking good with only a little bruising left. Jillian said the incision above my belly button makes me look like an alien with TWO belly buttons, and I have to agree! I kind of like it too... I am definitely tiring out much more easily than ever before but that is easily resolved with a quick power nap (I'd forgotten how much I love naps!). Still hurts to laugh but now only if it is a throw your head back deep belly laugh, so bring on the jokes but warn me if you think I might spit coffee out my nose! ;^) I have to say though, it has been difficult to think or write about this when so many others are facing much bigger challenges than mine, I honestly feel as though I got off incredibly easy while others haven't been as fortunate. My apologies for not writing more sooner...
Tomorrow I drive to Kaiser's Los Angeles Medical Center in East Hollywood for the first of 3 appointments to prepare for chemo radiation treatment. This first appointment is a consult with the radiation oncologist - as it has been explained to me, a team will meet to go over my case tomorrow morning before I arrive for my exam at 2:30 followed by the consult. At the 2nd appointment, which is called a planning or simulation session and has not yet been scheduled but is known to be the longest of the appointments, they will target & mark areas for treatment and present my treatment plan frequency & duration. Then, the 3rd appointment is the "port film check" (more x-rays, review, etc, if all is satisfactory they will schedule my first treatment). In addition, I have an appointment on the 16th with my gynecology oncologists as they have to sign off that I have adequately healed from my surgery before I can start - so it is my guess that my first treatment will be sometime after the 16th.
Many have asked what my symptoms were, they were typical pre or peri menopause symptoms without the hot flashes and since I just turned 48 this appeared to be normal. I'll write more about this later but what gets me right now is that everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, I have read and heard that cervical cancer or, cancer of the uterine cervix, is detected through regular pap testing, I even heard Dr. Oz say this on his show last week and it is simply not true! I have always been proactive in this regard and I just had a normal pap this past June but the type of cancer I have, adenocarcinoma, was only found because I spoke up and Dr. Estrick listened! She ordered an internal ultrasound and referred me to the specialist, Dr. Moore. Dr. Moore, after reviewing the first and conducting a second ultrasound followed by a colposcopy & biopsies of my uterus & cervix, made the diagnosis and explained that the type of cancer I have is a much less common type that settles in the mucous glands and therefore could not be detected by a pap. So, I'll end with the powerful words Jeanelle shared with me that continue to echo... "It whispers, so listen..."
